More often than not, most people have absolutely no idea what comes next. They may have plans and goals, but there are always uncertainties. Whether you’re traveling around the world, building your business, or stepping into the dating scene, the future isn’t always clear. However, what you’re sure of is yourself, and your ability to move forward step by step into your future.
In this solo episode on Pollen, your host, Diana Davis, looks back on her own journey of vulnerability. Diana has experienced breakups, burnout, and being stuck in a place that’s not for her. However, she has learned valuable lessons and is welcoming the future step by step. In this episode, Diana figures out the next space for her, navigates difficult conversations in romance, talks about launching some programs and events in her creative business.
If you’re feeling a bit unsure about where you are in business, life, and love, this episode can help you navigate your way forward.
👂 Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode:
Join Diana as she figures out where to go next on her nomadic journey and what she prioritizes in her destinations to keep her vibe high.
Recent romantic updates and how important communication is in your relationships.
How Diana's upbringing on a ranch primed her for resilience in times of crisis.
📘 Resources
Step into a space where you can thrive and transform your life when you join us at the Ecuador Retreat!
Achieve the life, career, and clients you’ve always wanted (and fully deserve!). Join Camp Clarity this September!
Join the upcoming mastermind course, Ascend, this September!
Find your community with us when you join the waitlist for the DDC Community!
Other Pollen episodes you should check out!
🎧 Episode Highlights
[03:25] Planning the Next Move
A week ago, Diana was planning where she would go next. Usually, she goes wherever she has an important event and Diana finds places to pin on her map.
Right now, she’s in Denver where she attended a concert with some friends. However, she doesn’t truly feel like it’s the best place for an extended period of time.
She wants to be in a space that truly lights her up. Staying somewhere she aligns with energetically means being able to have fun, show up, and start thriving in her business.
Diana found a place in Mill Valley to stay for five weeks. It will give her much-needed time to rejuvenate and recover from burnout.
[10:45] Calling Bullsh*t
Diana’s grandma, Carma Crane, called her out on her bullshit. She made Diana realize that there actually isn’t any problem.
[11:21] Diana Davis: “It's just one foot in front of the other. It's just one day at a time. You know how to do this. This is not new to you. You go to a place one day, and if you want to stay longer, you stay. And if you don't, you move on. What's the problem?”
Traveling and moving to different places is something that Diana has been doing for over a year now. Her situation isn’t new to her.
Unfortunately, people often get into a space where they complain about things that aren’t truly problems. Yes, it may be hard, however, it’s something you are capable of doing.
Having others call you out on your bullshit like Diana’s grandma can help you realize that you know what to do.
[13:51] Retreats: A Space of Transformation
In February, Diana is hosting a retreat in Ecuador. They chose this place because of the wonder it holds and its special connection to their retreat planner’s home country.
There is so much to gain from going on retreats. You’ll meet like-minded people and be present in a space where you can transform, thrive and connect.
People who have gone to Diana’s retreats have shared with her how impactful it was. One of them has completely pivoted her business to align with who she is and grow.
Diana is also launching an official community and relaunching their signature programs, Camp Clarity and Ascend.
These are great programs for beginner entrepreneurs to seasoned business owners who are ready to grow.
[17:52] Ready For Romance?
One of Diana’s Instagram followers reached out to her and asked her out. She decided to go along and enjoyed their time together.
It was a big decision for Diana whether she would continue their budding relationship. She knew that she wasn’t completely over her previous six-year-long relationship. At that point in her journey, she wasn’t ready to be exclusive.
Diana had a big conversation with this person. It’s through good communication that they’re both able to understand where they are in life at that moment.
[22:46] Communication is Key
Diana is used to putting up walls and compartmentalizing as a protective mechanism. This may be a result of growing up on a ranch and witnessing death and danger.
During their conversation, Diana wanted to ensure that the other person knew that she wasn’t available. It was just casual dating.
The other person called her out for it. He told Diana what he thought about her and their relationship. For him, it may not be exclusive but it is real.
Their communication has been incredible. They don’t only talk about what’s going on with them but also their negative and positive feelings.
[29:34] Diana Davis: “I'm not just talking about communication like we talk a lot and update each other on stuff. I'm talking about, like real, getting somewhere, getting to the root of things when stuff is bothering us. We say it now. When stuff is amazing. We communicate it.”
[30:13] Opening to Change
A lot of people aren’t sure about what to do next. It may feel like there are many things you want or have to do, but that it’s too difficult to take them all on at once.
If you’re getting pings that you’re not in the right place, then start taking action one step at a time. Start with a place to live, then a job, before finally, finding a partner.
Diana’s dad always says that change is the universe’s way of leading you to greater plans. However, you have to be open to it.
[32:40] Diana Davis: “We look at it as chasing after the future. We're chasing but actually, the future is coming to us. We just are in the present always.”
Just trust yourself. Be present, truthful, and communicate.
[33:36] Going From Burnout to Lit Up
Diana recently experienced burnout. She spent a few weeks unmotivated and doing the minimum required of her.
Fortunately, she took time off and had fun with her parents. It allowed her to recuperate.
Once her break was over, she was excited and ready to get back into her business and launch her programs and the new community.
If you’re experiencing burnout, it’s important to give yourself time and space.
Having a good foundation and a solid team can greatly help you.
😍 Enjoyed this Podcast on Taking One Step at a Time?
Pollen is a podcast for Creative Entrepreneurs—just like you! If you enjoyed this episode of Pollen Podcast, subscribe and help us spread the word by sharing it! Your dream life is there for you to take — and you can help others find lives they can love too.
Leave a review and share it! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐If you enjoyed tuning in to this podcast, we'd appreciate it if you wrote us a review. You can also share it to help other creative entrepreneurs and freelancers.
Have any questions or want to leave a suggestion? Come say hi on the 'gram, @dianadaviscreative! You can also subscribe to my newsletter for travel updates, learn about special projects, and get tips and tricks for the creative entrepreneur life!
Connect with me on Linkedin: Diana Davis Creative.
Thanks for listening! Stay tuned to my website for more episode updates and other exciting programs and resources!
Transcript
Diana Davis: The future is ahead of us. The past is past us, right? But we look at it as chasing after the future, like we're chasing but actually the future is coming to us. We just are in the present always. So we're at a standstill experiencing what we have now.
Welcome to Pollen, the ultimate podcast for creative entrepreneurs. My mission: to empower you to make more money doing what you love, work with dream clients, and turn your creative gifts into a thriving business without the burnout. I'm your host, Diana Davis. Business coach, Gemini manifesting generator, matcha snob, and full-time nomad.
Here's the deal. I went from creating a six-figure photography business to helping amazing creative souls like you build your own empires. So I've been there. I get it.
Whether you're an artist, designer, writer, yogi, or anything in between, this podcast is your treasure trove of inspiration. So grab your favorite notebook, maybe a matcha, and let's embark on this incredible adventure together.
All right Pollen. We haven't done this in a while. I am in Denver. I actually had the San Diego leg of my trip canceled so I stayed here a few more days. And I am in an Airbnb that's an old carriage house. It's really really cute and it has a little backyard patio and I am dining alfresco. I am podcasting alfresco. So you might hear some things in the background. But I don't really care, I think it adds to it.
And if you've gone with me on this journey for a long time, even our retreat episode, which we had everyone at the steamboat retreat chiming in and coming on. We had like Jake brakes on semis in the background going down the mountain paths in the backyard of the Steamboat Springs retreat. And if you've been with me a long time to last year, over a year ago, which is crazy. I was in Italy, and I had my friends Mike and Emily on and we literally recorded in a lemon grove. Because the inside of the Airbnb was just too echoey.
Why am I outside today? I want to be. I have a beautiful little patio, and it's gorgeous outside, and it's like 8pm and still light out, and I don't want to be in my little carriage house. So we're doing it alfresco today.
And along with that theme, we're going to talk about love and life. Because I know y'all love this. This is where I really get real about this kind of stuff. And I don't do that a lot elsewhere. So just for tuning in, I really just adore all of you for being with me on this journey. And it's been such a deep one, talking about a year ago. Going on this nomadic journey a year ago, way over a year ago now, like way over. I mean, like a year and a few months. I had the ending to my six-year relationship, which was kind of a big deal, and it kind of launched everything. So this has been an incredible journey of vulnerability.
So let's dig in. Literally, a week ago, I didn't know where I would be as far as location next. Right now it's August 7. And I had no clue what my next steps were. I knew I had a wedding in Italy, with my friend Jamie, who's been on the podcast. It's her wedding. And that was it. That's in October.
And so this is kind of how I roll and a lot of people asked me like, “how do you decide where to go next?” And I have these like pins on my calendar that just bring me to those places. For example, I might have a mastermind in-person retreat that I'm a part of or my own retreats that I'm a part of. Greece was a big one for me. Steamboat, I had to I got to come back all the way to Colorado from Europe for that. And you know, I might have like a bachelorette party. Like I was supposed to go to this last weekend, but it ended up getting canceled for reasons that she's not breaking up with the person, just so you know. It was just some stuff going on last minute. And just other things, family reunions, etc. where I put these pins in the map, and then in between I fill them in.
So basically my pin in the map in Denver was the Noah Kahan concert. We can talk about that a little bit. If anyone knows Noah Kahan, give me a shout out, DM me on Instagram. I want to know that you listen to this episode. And if you don't you should check him out.
But that was an incredible concert. That's a whole conversation in itself. I will say it was one of the best nights of my life. And I will say, and I don't really talk about this, because I think I would maybe get shut down on Instagram, I'm not sure. But I ended up thinking I was micro-dosing on mushrooms that night at the concert, and it was actually a full trip. And it was kind of frustrating at first because I wasn't expecting to feel like that. And I leaned in, and it was literally one of the best nights of my life.
If you've been on mushrooms, you know, maybe if you've been on full trips, I've done that would be my fourth like full actual trip and it was life-changing, and it always is. I don't quote-unquote, recommend mushrooms. I'm not that person. I'm just speaking from my own experience.
So I was here with my friend and client, Kate Milford, who is a very talented photographer. We both went to Noah Kahan with a big group of her friends in Dillon, in the mountains. And then the second night, doubleheader, we went to Red Rocks. So that was super fun. And that was my pin in the map here. And then from there, I was gonna go to the bachelorette party, but didn't know after that. So I have this pin in Italy in October. And that's it.
So what was really funny is, I was mulling all of this around, I had a lot of options. I had some Colorado opportunities that were very affordable. And my money mindset needs a little bit of work right now, I'm not gonna lie to you. So I was thinking, well, maybe I should go with this Colorado situation because it's really affordable. But my vibe here is just not it. Like it's not my place. I grew up here. There are amazing places, Denver, specifically the city is not it for me. So it's like, okay, how do we decide? When we're not really feeling it? We're not vibing? How do we decide that we are going to maybe take a bigger leap, even though it's more money or more risk? But we also know it's going to catapult us further.
So I thought about how I would feel. And I was tossing up New York, Denver, even Bozeman, I wanted to be in a place for like a hot minute. So I wasn't just moving, like I've moved four times, just in my two weeks in Denver. It's kind of unreal. I want to be in a place for a while. In a while, to me means like five weeks.
So I was trying to feel out what is the best option for me financially, but also energy-wise. And I know that when I am in a space that lights me up, I produce good content, I show up energetically for my clients, I show up for my future clients, I am able to sell more. My vibes are just better.
And if we're talking manifesting generator, human design style. The whole thing with manifesting generators is that if you have fun, you are magnetic. So the more magnetic you are, the more fun you're having, and vice versa. There's a really great episode with Amelia, I think it's Episode 40, the last one of season one, if you want to go dig into the human design thing.
But I knew like I could stay in Colorado for cheaper budget or whatever but I just don't vibe with it here and that wouldn't be good for me or my business. So I put it out to Instagram to this beautiful community. And I said, I have these dates open. I'm also a part of Yes Nomads, which is a Facebook group that's vetted and invite only and you have to pay 50 bucks to be in it. And they basically list housing on there. And for the most part, it's people just wanting to cover their rent. So I put my dates out there as well. And this friend of a friend came through for Mill Valley, California. Which I think I've actually been to Mill Valley because I've been to the Redwoods like briefly, but I don't think I realized I was there. I think it's Marin County is what it's like in for those of you who know it.
But the situation came through where this gal is literally going to build a cabin in Alaska for six weeks and she needs to sublet her place. And it's a friend of a friend, so that was really cool as well. And it just started getting me thinking like, wow, I could be in this place for five weeks. Which is the longest I've stayed in one housing unit for over a year. Like I was in Melbourne for a month and a half or whatever, but I changed places like three times. It would be like a home base.
And after my burnout, which I want to talk a little bit about as well, I really needed rejuvenation. I really needed to be able to just sit down for a second and really work on my business, fill back up my cups, my financial cup, my health cup, my mental cup, all of it. So, I was thinking about Mill Valley and then I put that out to my community again. How about Mill Valley? What's the vibe? And people just flooded my DMs saying, “Oh my God, you're gonna love it. There's so much nature out there. It is such a little good nest. It's so rejuvenating.” And so I made the decision to go for it. So that was my next step there.
Before I knew this, I want to talk about a little conversation I had with my grandma, Crane. Her name is Carma Crane with a C. And she is incredible and still gets her hair done, bouffant style, every week, every two weeks? My mom will have to confirm. She's incredible. We love her.
And I was talking to her for the first time in a while. And I was just like, yeah, “Grandma, I just don't know what's next. I just have no idea what I'm going to do.” And she just called me out of my bullshit, lovingly. She was just like, “Honey,” she calls me honey bunny, “Honey. It's just one foot in front of the other. It's just one day at a time. You know how to do this. This is not new to you. You go to a place one day, and if you want to stay longer, you stay. And if you don't, you move on. What's the problem?” And it just kind of like called me out on my bullshit.
And I was like, wow, I'm in this space. And how often do we get in this space? Where we're like, “Woe is me. I'm complaining. I don't know what to do next with my privileged life where I'm a nomad. And I get to do whatever I want. And I run my own business. And I have the funds to do it because I have a thriving business, whatever, whatever.” And some people kind of affirm this victimhood, that we're around, right? They go, “Oh, my gosh, that must be so hard. I can't imagine moving from place to place all that time.” And it is hard. I definitely burned out and I want to talk about that.
I have so many tangents. This is like having a real conversation with me. I have tangent to tangent to tangent, and we have to like work our way back to the core theme. But I do want to talk about burnout. I want to talk about love, and life, and all the things, romance.
But we have those people in our lives who are like, “Poor you, you're right. I'm so sorry.” And really, “ Yeah, poor me, it's really hard.” Instead of just someone going, “You've got this. You got it before, what's the problem? You know exactly what to do.” And kind of giving us agency to just be like, “You know? You're right. You're right. I do.”
So shortly after that, Grandma kick in the pants, I made the decision. I'm going to Mill Valley. That's on Friday. When you listen to this. I'll already be there. And then I'm going to Amsterdam, and that also aligned. And then I have the Italy trip so I have a little stint, maybe between Amsterdam, maybe I'll stay there longer, I'm not sure. And Italy, and we'll see how that goes.
So maybe after Italy, I'm going to Portugal. Maybe after Portugal, I'm going to Bali. But all I know is I'm attending a wedding in Postado, Italy on October 17. And I have Mill Valley and Amsterdam set up and ready to roll. And that's all we need to know right now because so much can change. Right? And I love that. I'm a Gemini. I'm a Sagittarius moon. I love travel and adventure. I love new things all the time. I love change.
So that's kind of the Nomad scope. As far as business goes, just to give you an idea of what's happening is… Ecuador is happening in February 2024, 18th through the 23rd. We have locked that in. We are so excited.
The reason why we are going to Ecuador specifically is my retreat planner and assistant who has been with me over a year, Maria, she is from Ecuador. And when I hired her, I said, “What do you want to do in this company?” And she's like, “I think you should host retreats.” And I was like, “You know what? We are. We are we're thinking about it.” And that was before Steamboat Springs, Colorado, which was our first retreat.
And I said, “If you wanted to host a retreat anywhere, where would it be?” And she’s just like “I would love to take you and your community to my home country and show you what just the plentiful abundance that comes out of that place. The nature of the fruit, the different landscapes. There's like, it's such a mecca of like mountains and beach and just different ecosystems in such a small area, right?” So that's why we're going. We decided to do it. How special.
And if you haven't been to Ecuador before. Or you've never even thought about going to Ecuador? Like why the fuck not? Why not go with a bunch of like-minded people and adventure together where everything is planned out for you? All you have to do is land in a city and we pick you up. We whisk you away to the retreat center. All of that is included. Every day is planned out. You're off your laptops, you're off work, and we just create. And we be, and we connect, and we thrive, and we give ourselves space for the transformation to happen.
And the people who have come to these retreats, they're still texting me, DMing me, calling me, voice noting me saying. I literally got one today. Saying “I, a year ago, this time at the Steamboat Springs retreat. I was battling between making my personal and my business account one thing. I was so battling with that identity, it wasn't just a logistical issue, it was an identity issue.”
And that's not even the point. But from there, that being her biggest problem at the time, she has now totally upended her business. She lives in Lisbon. She's like, mainly a nomad. And she has totally revamped her services and offerings to completely align with who she is. She unapologetically shows up. She's started a podcast, all of these things. And she's like, that was only a year ago at that retreat.
And that retreat gave the space for that transformation. Because we often don't take space. And even if we take space, and it's like a vacation or off Instagram or whatever, we're not in like a thriving container, right? This is like putting a tomato plant and a greenhouse with fertilizer. It's like, oof, you're gonna be ready and ripe in a week, let's fucking go.
So Ecuador is happening. We are also relaunching our signature programs Camp Clarity, and Ascend. You can go to the website to look more into those. They are starting mid-September, again, which is super exciting. So whether you're a beginner entrepreneur, or you're pivoting, or you are a seasoned entrepreneur who is ready to be bigger and grow further and be just like expanded, these programs are for you. And one of them, I'm going to help you decide where you’re supposed to be Ascend or Camp Clarity.
We are also working on launching a community. Like an official community, which has been on my heart for so long. And it's finally happening. And that's actually kind of spurred out of the Greece retreats. Or the retreats in general, Greece specifically. So get on the waitlist for that. And then what is the other thing? I think that's it.
So let's talk about like romance for a second. There's so many lessons here. And I just want to just download this for you all because I know these relationship type of episodes have been so so powerful for you. Just to know you're not alone and to get different perspectives. Perspective as dating as a nomad, what dating after a six-year relationship at 33 looks like. All of the above.
So rewind back to April of this year. So 2023. I was in New York for a month, which actually maybe I did stay in a place for five weeks. I think it was only four though. But I was in one place in New York for a month. And I got on Hinge for a whole hot two seconds and it was a dumpster fire. Sex in the City explains New York dating so well. Just go watch the first episode, then you'll understand. It is so relevant still, in my opinion.
It was obviously not aligned universally for me to even be on the apps. A lot of times for me, it's not about like, oh, Hinge is just awful, or the dating apps are awful. It's more about, ”Am I supposed to be meeting someone right now? Am I supposed to be giving my energy to that?” And it's kind of a gatekeeping thing. And it's a little woowoo of me, but like when I'm not hitting it on Hinge. And I don't mean like sexually, I mean, like even getting matches that I enjoy or are going anywhere. When that's not happening and it just feels gross and unaligned, I'm not supposed to be there. So that is like the sacral knowing of like, ooh, this isn't for me.
So I quickly shut off Hinge. And what was wild is this person who's been following me since 2018 on Instagram, asked me out. Which is so hilarious to me and ironic. First of all, if you've been following me on Instagram since 2018, you really know who I am in a lot of ways. You've been seeing a lot of evolution. I’m super vulnerable. I've talked about everything from bikini waxes to period cups to burnout to break-ups to all of the above. I dancehall on there. You know what I mean? Like you're seeing me without makeup, you're seeing me way intimate, never met me in person.
I'm gonna just fast forward here. We did go out and it was really fun. And we kind of thought, like two weeks of dating and caps all done. But we kept talking and it really kind of rocked both of us in different ways. We have dated since then and he actually just left Denver. He visited me in Montana, he visited me in LA, very consensually, obviously.
And it was a lot because… It was a lot not because it was a lot. It was a big decision, I think, to decide whether to continue with this thing or not. Because where I was at, and where I am at, is I'm still on my journey. And I had a six-year relationship and I'm honestly, still not completely over it. I'm over that person but the relationship itself is still like, hurting. And I don't think I've really taken the time to slow down and really process it, right? So that's still happening. Like six years is a long time. And I am still not done being on my journey. I'm not done experiencing new people in the dating world. I'm not here to be exclusive right now. It's just not where I'm at.
So that was a big conversation. And I will tell you that this person and I have the most incredible communication I've ever experienced in my life. And this person is one of the most incredible people I've ever met. And is he a different person than two years ago? Am I a way different person than two years ago? Absolutely. Would I have dated him two years ago? Probably not.
But where we both are in life right now and how our paths are aligning is pretty incredible and we're not sure how long this is going to go. Obviously, I'm not available for an exclusive relationship. And he knows that and he gets to decide if he's here for that or not. And the beauty of it is the communication around that.
The communication has been key. And I want to talk about that for a second. Just a few examples. For example, I put up a lot of walls, I don't think I really realize how much you all don't know, the inner workings of me. I just show up here like you know, all the things. Like I had someone the other day, say, “Wow, I listened to your people-pleasing episode with a dating coach and I had no idea you were a people-pleaser. I just thought you were this confident like badass bitch.” Yeah, we're getting there.
But I don't always recognize that you all don't know, my insecurities, my inner workings, my anxieties. And I think that's a good reminder that when we're looking at someone online, we don't know what they have going on inside. We don't know what their woes are. Their things that keep them up in the middle of the night, right?
So one of mine is I've had walls for a long time. I'm very good at putting them up. I compartmentalize like crazy. I really think that has to do with. It's a protective mechanism for sure.
One of the reasons I really think, is ranch life. And I am not really sure if I've talked exactly about this example before, but there was a lot going on, growing up on a ranch. From your favorite animals dying, Not just getting like, butchered, but you know. I had dogs run over on the road or, kittens that got stuck in the engine because it's warm and the engine… it’s really bad. It's bad stuff.
And I've had a lot of pets, a lot of animals that we've had to say goodbye to or put down. Such is the way of life like if you eat meat. Hello, that's an animal and you can't get too attached to it. We've had horses struck by lightning. Like, it's just crazy. There's just way more opportunity for heartbreak.
And we also lived, my parents live very dangerous lives. You're on horses all the time. You're around cattle all the time. We knew the ambulance crew by first name. And I would get called sometimes.
For example, I got called, I think I was 16 or 17, and I got called at school. I remember I had a cell phone. And they were like, your mom got bucked off. She's being flight for life to Fort Collins, which is like a two-hour drive. Obviously, not a two-hour flight. And there's nothing we can do right now. She's gonna be fine. She's alive. But she might have a ruptured spleen, like all these things. So we're taking care of that. And what I said was, “So should I go to work tonight? Or, like, what do I do?” Instead of like, I just didn't. I don't think I had the luxury of freaking out. Because if you freak out on a ranch, you're gonna always be in freakout mode. You have to get it together.
So I will say I am one of the most great people, reliable people in an emergency. I am even keel. I am like, let's fucking go. Here's the things we need to do. I've got this, I've got you. Maybe sometime I'll tell you about my robbery story. But I've been through some things that have proved to me that I can handle emergency situation for the most part.
But that also leads to compartmentalization. It leads to me putting up my walls. And that also has to do with heartbreak at 16 years old getting ghosted and cheated on right? Our first relationships just molded us. It has to do with me getting divorced. And like all of it. And I'm sure so many of you can relate doesn't matter if you're on a ranch or not. Like, compartmentalization can be real, and putting up our walls are real.
So I had these walls, which I thought I had worked through, about being available. And I kept saying to this person, that I am still seeing, I'm not available. I just want you to make sure you know that. I'm not available. Don't get too excited. Don't get too far into this. This is. I need to know that you're good here. Because if your heart gets broken, if you get too emotionally wrapped in this, I don't know what to tell you. And you have to know, this isn't going any further than just casually dating. Like we can. I'm still here for the connection, and for the human experience and to really connect deeply. But I'm not here for an exclusive relationship. You can't pin me down, don't even try. And I kept saying this is not a thing.
And one of the most powerful conversations that I had with this person was him just calling me out, which I love. I don't know if y'all love this. I don't know if some people get defensive. I love when someone will call me out on my bullshit, in a loving way right? There's a way to do it to not make the person defensive.
But he said, I really would like you to revisit or reframe what you're saying. Because you keep saying you're not available but you're actually one of the most available people in my entire life right now. You text, you answer my calls, we're planning, making these plans to see each other. You're very available, you're vulnerable, you tell me all the things you're available. So what is it actually?
And also, like when you say it's not a thing, it really hurts me. It hurts my feelings. Because even though this isn't an exclusive thing, or even though we're not getting married tomorrow, obviously. I don't even know if I believe that should be a thing, the marriage thing, a whole other conversation. But it is a thing. Like we have a very real thing. So please stop saying it's not a thing.
And so then I reframed and said, “Okay, I'm gonna stop saying or really try to stop saying, I'm not available. I'm going to say instead, hey, person. I do not want and do not have capacity for, in my journey to have an exclusive relationship right now.” And then he gets to decide if he wants to show up for that or not, right?
So the communication has been incredible. And that's one of the sexiest things ever. And I'm not just talking about communication like we talk a lot and update each other on stuff. I'm talking about, like real, getting somewhere, getting to the root of things when stuff is bothering us. We say it now. When stuff is amazing. We communicate it. And it's incredible. It's been probably the healthiest thing I've ever been part of, actually. It is showing me a lot. It's showing me a lot.
So that has been a really expansive thing for both of us. I know because we've communicated it. And I don't know where it is going from here. And I know a lot of you aren't sure where your situation is going. What you want. I've even talked to a friend today about like, she's divorced, and she doesn't know any of the things. Job, place she wants to live, dating. And I think that's interesting, because it's like, if it's not working, if none of it's working, we need to pick one, maybe. And, like, move forward with that thing.
So if we're getting pings that we're not supposed to be living in the place we're livin'. It's just not right but we're still living there, and we're still dating there. Which is even worse, because then like, we don't even like the place we're in but we're dating people. And then what does that do?
And then the job thing, it's just like ugh. And so what if we just focused on, gave ourselves a three-month deadline, and said, I'm gonna figure out where I'm gonna live. I'm gonna get out of here. Because obviously, I'm not vibing. Take the thorn out of my side and let's figure out where I'm gonna live and then I can tackle the dating thing and finding a new partner and then the job thing, right?
So I just know that a lot of you are in a funky place. A lot of, a lot of you, wow, have had breakups, even in the last month that I've talked to. And I highly recommend going back to the original, I think it's called like Heartbreak and Expansion. It's the breakup episode. I think it's like episode six but I might be wrong. Just going and listening to that because, again, like, as my dad says, which everyone loved the dad podcast, by the way, thank you so much for listening to it.
My dad always says if change is in store for you, whether that means a breakup, or a layoff, or whatever, you should be so excited because the universe, God, he says God, has so much in store for you. And it is better than you could ever, ever imagine. But you have to be open to it. And we can't just chase after it. Right? We have to be open to it.
Really being like, this is the concept of the Power of Now if you haven't read that book, and a real I saw the other day that a friend sent me. We are in time, right now. The future is ahead of us. The past is past us, right? But So we're at a standstill experiencing what we have now. And the future is coming to us like on a conveyor belt. Right? Like we're the grocery store clerk, this is my friend's example, we’re the grocery store clerk and the groceries are just coming. We don't have to chase after them. So that's really powerful.
And I think, the big lessons here in where to be, what the next steps are, how to be motivated in your business, relationships and dating, not knowing who is the one and who's not. Trust yourself, and be as present as you can be, and be as truthful as you can be always. Communicate what you need. People can't read your mind. Right? There's a lot of that.
And I just want to touch on burnout and then we'll wrap this up. But a lot of you have checked in with me, are you okay? Because I really was in burnout. When I got back from Denmark and to LA, I got a cold sore, which this man got to see for like 40 hours or something on my face and couldn't kiss me. It was super fun, very humbling. I could barely even do activity. I was just so burned out, so unmotivated.
You know how we have those weeks of work, or anything, even like a hike, that's crazy. It's just so crazy. And we get to the end of it and we're like, we're done. We're done with all of it. We're never doing that again. But eventually, once we recover, we realize oh, I actually really love this. I was just like, that was just a lot. Right? That's how I felt.
And so it lasted all the way into Montana. And I spent a week as you know, with my parents and we recorded that podcast, which was super fun. And all I did was fish and play cards, which was so special. I'm so grateful for that week. I'm so grateful for myself for giving myself that week off a long time ago. The Universe knew I was going to need it.
And I could barely take a walk. Like I am a person who loves to do do do do do do And I was just like, no, I just really want to just sit on this couch. And I was burned out, I haven't felt that burned out in a really long time. And then I stayed in Montana, and I recuperated and I kind of have taken like a solid month hiatus off of my business.
I've shown up and I've done the things, but I will tell you, no income for basically July, like, minimal. And I'm okay with it. Because I know that this investment in my space, in time, refilling my cup, will allow me to go get what I need. And I feel now that I'm in Denver, and I've finally figured out this Mill Valley, California thing and my next steps, I feel like I've taken a summer break and I'm ready to go back to school again.
Like, you know that feeling you've had all summer off. By the time you're done with school, you're like, “Oh, I can't wait to be for summer like, oh my God.” But then by the time August or September rolls around. When are they going back to school these days? When Labor Day rolls around, you're like, “I'm actually ready, I'm ready to go back. I'm excited to go buy my supplies and my Trapper Keeper and my supply box. I'm ready to go back.”
And that's how I feel. I'm ready to go back. I'm here with a vengeance. I'm super excited to pour into my business the next five weeks and really launch some things and just like, I really am lit up. So from burnout to lit up, man, that's how we do it. But you've got to give yourself the time and space to do those things.
And what I will say is it's a lot easier to give yourself the time and space when you have a business that has a solid foundation, which is what we do in Camp Clarity. And then in Ascend, you start to have things put in place like standard operating procedures, and a podcast that promotes things for you while you're not even on live, and a team that really supports things, right?
And like my team was rocking it while I was away. They always do. They've rocked it this whole nomadic year. Like are you kidding me? I don't work as much as you probably think I do. Like I delegate, I visionary. Is visionary a verb No. I would probably say like I vision and make it a verb.
Anyway, so that would be more like Ascend. Like if you're in a place where your business has a solid foundation, you know who you're talking to, you know how to show up on social media, all of the above, you know what your prices are, but they can use always some judging. You know, your systems, that kind of thing. But you're ready for more, you're ready for a team, you're ready to be able to step away from your business if you need to. That's Ascend for you.
So I'm super excited for you all to be a part of this next iteration of DDC, the community that retreats, the programs. Stay tuned, obviously. And we would love it. Love it. If you would rate us five stars wherever you are listening. As well as leave us a review if you're on a platform that supports reviews, and share this. Share this with a friend. Share this on social. We are so living for that stuff. So we love to see when you all love it. Over and out. Thanks Pollen.
